SELF CARE THROUGH INTUITION, DISAPPOINTING OTHERS & LOVING WHAT IS

November 2008  

This month I attended an incredible "Celebrate Your Life" conference where I came away with a renewed sense of excitement for what I see as my life's work and also a profound realization of the need to take better care of myself.  I had the pleasure of taking workshops from many exceptional folks including Alan Cohen, Cheryl Richardson, Bryon Katie,  and Judith Orloff.  What follows are points that struck a chord with me and perhaps will resonate with you as well.

SELF CARE THROUGH  INTUITION-Judith Orloff "Pay careful attention to God's whispers"

While growing up, most of us were not trained or encouraged to listen to our intuition, yet all of us are intuitive but may not utilize this gift. Intuition can be a confidence booster. Highly intuitive people can make excellent choices by turning inward and directing their lives instead of believing that things just happen to them.  When tuned into your intuition, you can feel energized by your life as opposed to drained & tired.  The following are three ways you can use right now to tap into your own intuitive abilities (perhaps you're already using them, yet can utilize this gift more consciously):

1)       PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR ENERGY-How is your energy around certain people or places?  Does it go up or down?  If you are consistently around certain people/places and your energy drops then this is a very good indication that you might want to keep away from them.  If it's not feasible to stay away from these energy vampires because you work with them for instance, you can practice the following techniques to help you keep your energy positive until you make permanent changes:

• Breathe consciously (slowly, deeply) when in these situations so you are grounding yourself.
• Meditate for a few minutes after talking with them to clear your energy field of any negativity
• Practice shielding techniques (picture a healing light around you when in these situations
• Work on yourself and your vulnerabilities so you become less affected by these people or      places.

Remember that working and socializing with people you love is a stress reducer so by all means make different choices if needed.

2)      FEEL YOUR BODY - Listening to your "gut feelings" or pay attention to the goose bumps you get when you just know something or hear something.  Your body can be your friend and warn you when you are not safe or things just don't feel right.  It behooves you to pay attention to what your body tells you when making major decisions and even everyday decisions.  How often have you felt something in your body and then just dismissed it as too irrational, too silly, etc. and then found yourself in a situation that was less than positive?  I can recall at least a half a dozen times when I knew something but ignored the signals.

3)      KEEP A DREAM JOURNAL close to your bed and ask to remember your dreams. Dreaming is a powerful way to tap into intuition-ask one question you want some guidance on before falling asleep-write down anything that comes to you in your dreams first thing in the morning.  (I've been doing this again and it's been wild!  It's amazing how much more of my dreams I remember when consciously asking a question before falling asleep)  

For more information on Judith's work visit her website at www.drjudithorloff.com

SELF CARE THROUGH DISAPPOINTING OTHERS-Cheryl Richardson

According to Cheryl, you cannot live a soul guided life without disappointing others so you might as well learn to speak your truth with grace and love.  So often the people we love the most and who are closest to us will be the ones disappointed.  If you've been on the receiving end of being disappointed (and I'm certain most of us have) you know how painful it can be.  Although this is not a new concept, when you realize what disappointing loved ones and friends may entail, the stakes can be huge; however, if you choose to live in integrity, treating yourself well everyday is essential.  In order to life the life you choose you must learn this lesson.

One of the speakers at the conference spoke about leaving a 25 year marriage because she knew it no longer served her greater good even though she had a great deal of love and respect for her husband; this was very painful for the whole family and although she and her ex are now great friends, to speak her truth caused immense turmoil.

Here are some questions to consider:

•  Who must you disappoint to really live a soul guided life? 
•  Where do you give up your power in order to be nice, helpful and fit in?  
•  How often have you said "yes" when you needed to say "no"?  For instance, you take on another project or help out a friend when you really need "down time" and then you get sick.

How to stop being so nice:

•  If you have difficulty saying "no",start with small things first and get use to disappointing others in small ways that don't threaten the relationship.  Practice with a co-worker or friend and decline a social event that you really don't want to attend.
•  Put off giving an answer on the spot. You can say, "I will get back to you." This gives you time to get in touch with what you truly want without automatically responding to be nice or out of habit.  I'm a firm believer in this phrase.  It's so much easier to be clear to begin with than having to break a commitment after committing under pressure. 

 For more information on Cheryl's work visit her website at: www.cherylrichardson.com

SELF CARE THROUGH LOVING WHAT IS-Byron Katie

For those of you who have heard "Katie" before, you know her story is amazing and she is so present and non-assuming that you just love her right away.  Her message is simple and sounds much like Buddhist philosophy: the root of all suffering is our attachments.

Katie says that when we wish for things to be different than they are, we suffer.  Our random thoughts are not what make us suffer but our attachment to them.  "The Work" is a simple, yet profound way to question our stressful thoughts and examine them.  Katie says anyone can do it as long as they have an open mind, are willing to ask the questions without rationalizing the responses.  (Katie was depressed, suicidal and spent a good deal of time in bed for almost two years when she had this total revelation & breakthrough.  She now livesher life in the present with much joy)

Consider this stressful thought/belief:  "He doesn't listen to or appreciate me".

Here are the questions you ask and answer when having a stressful thought/belief:

•   Is the statement true?

•  Can you be absolutely certain that it is true?

•  How do you feel when you think this thought?

•  Who would you be (or what would you feel) without that thought?

Next, you do what she calls the turnaround (turn the thought around)

•   Turn it around to yourself- "I don't listen to or appreciate myself"-then ask how is the turnaround as true or truer than the original statement-give 1-3 examples

•   Turn around to the other- "I don't listen to or appreciate him" then ask how is the turnaround as true or truer than the original statement-give 1-3 examples

•  Turn it around to the opposite- "He does listen to and appreciate me". Then ask how is the turnaround as true or truer than the original statement-give 1-3 examples

For more information on "Katie's" work you can visit her website at:  www.thework.com

If you practice even one of these self care techniques consistently you will begin to see changes in the quality of your life.  You deserve to live your best life so begin today!

Valerie Lipstein is a Certified Life Coach supporting solo entrepreneurs to grow their business with integrity and attract their ideal clients. Her practice includes group coaching, workshops, classes and individual coaching

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