"We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves." Thomas Merton
"Every day brings new choices" Martha Beck
The Bright,Shiny Object Syndrome (bsos) Can Derail Us
We are business owners or professionals and sometimes we work alone. We live in a world with unlimited choices. How do we know when we are making the right choices? We may have a small marketing budget; what is the most cost effective way to get the word out about our business? There are so many options and everyone tells you they have a great solution for your problem.
Derailing occurs when we go in so many different directions that nothing is working well. Or we are immobilized with indecision and do nothing. Either way, we are ineffective. We then ponder why things are not coming together. If we reflected on our scattered energy we could see that without a clear focus we are wandering aimlessly. Does any of this sound familiar?
Acknowledge Your Tendency Towards Bsos
If you have a tendency towards bsos, you will often be drawn towards new things, ideas and events. Often you are very creative and love life and the thought of not doing everything is inconceivable. You may miss out on a wonderful opportunity, you say. Sidetracking is commonplace.
Acknowledging your tendency when the urge comes up to take the next class,try the latest product or buy another "how to" book is the first step. You are intelligent and know you are not capable of doing everything. Another step, is facing this before you over commit. When we catch ourselves as we are heading in a new direction, we can then pause before we leap. There is no need to judge ourselves,just admit that we are prone to bsos so we can begin to address the issue.
I attempted to fool myself for a number of years saying, "I'm just multi-tasking or checking out all my options before making a final commitment". I would start so many things and then not finish the majority of them. I had way too many books, for instance . They were all fascinating when I purchased them and then just sat on the bookshelf.
Not Making a Choice is a Decision That May Work
The other thing that also happen frequently with the bsos is not making decisions at all. When we do not make decisions because of all the choices presented, that in essence is making a choice to do nothing. That said, sometimes when we are overwhelmed with choices, the best thing to do, for a short while anyway, is to do nothing. Making a quick decision just to keep out of overwhelm may be something you regret later. Often ones thinking is the culprit.
I work with my clients to clarify what it is that they want and help them uncover the thinking that has them going in too many directions. Often the bsos can be a quick fix for other dissatisfying parts of a person's life. As we explore their passion and interests they often see the correlations. Then they are able to look at the options in a less reactive or emotional way.
Listen to the Still, Small Voice
"You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices" Deepak Chopra
The best way that I've found to make intelligent choices, and something that has faithfully worked (even when I didn't like the answers), is to go within for the answers.
Although this is old news to most of you, you may not know yet the power of application and doing this on a regular basis.
Many people believe that being silent or meditating is a long process, yet it doesn't have to be. Even 10 minutes in the morning and a few minutes before bed can be beneficial. Asking questions before bed, reviewing your day, writing in you gratitude journal, listening to inspirational music; all these are ways to be still and access the great power we all have. This power that comes from silence and mindfulness practices will not lie to you. There are so many ways to do this so you can experiment and be creative. Find something you enjoy and stick with it as often as you can.
Recap & Other Tips to Tame Bsos:
- Acknowledge your tendency towards bsos and that there is no way you will be able to do everything
- Remember you can say "no" or "I'll need to think about it and get back to you". Making instant decisions is not always a good idea here
- When you have a number of options focus on your personal or professional vision/goal and ask which option would best meet them. If it doesn't further your goal, don't do it. If you are unsure of your vision/goal this is the time to do some investigating.
- When you still do not have a clear answer-go inward and ask for guidance through meditation or another way that you access your authentic voice.
- If you are apt to be easily influenced by others take note of this. Tune out the other well intentioned voices of friends, family or colleagues for the time being. Focus on your voice. You really do know what is best for you but may just be out of touch with your innate wisdom.
- Pay attention to your intuition. Your gut feelings will not lie to you but of course you must be paying attention so you can take the appropriate action.
- Get support in the way of a counselor or life coach if needed. An impartial sounding board may be helpful, especially if you often listen to others and ignore your intuition. A good coach or counselor will not give you answers but support you to discover your own voice so you make decisions that are in alignment with your true nature.
Bsos does not need to de-rail you anymore. Having choices makes life exciting and wonderful. You can make choices with more confidence, knowing that you are in charge and can focus on your vision, turning inward frequently. Have fun with choices...You are powerful beyond measure!