You can't escape from a prison unless you know you're in one"~Bob Proctor
We all could practice greater self love. We often can be our own worst critics. Everyday we have about 50,000 thoughts going through our heads. About 80% of those thoughts are negative self talk. Things like, "I wish I hadn't said that", I don't look good today, I'm always late, they don't like me, I can't handle money, I didn't do well on that presentation, what's wrong with me, why can't I be more like her/him, I can't seem to get organized, I don't know what to do"..... (add your own worst critic line here)
These thoughts, if left to run wild, keep us from being in the flow of our creative abilities and from being present to our limitless possibilities. Sometimes we shut down and stay in the comfort zone numbing out to the life we could be living, feeling unworthy of the gifts only we have to offer.. It's no wonder then that we often "play small" when we listen to these random thoughts day afer day.
If You Are Reading This You Are Worthy-Chose Carefully!
A Course in Miracles teaches that we can listen to the voice of love or the voice of fear. "Your divided devotion has given you two voices, you must choose at which altar you wish to serve." Many of us say we believe in a higher power, yet when we allow the inner critic to take over we are basically saying to God/spirit, "You made a mistake, I am not worthy." When you give up on yourself, even in these seemingly small ways (believing your inner critic)you are not choosing love. Remember, you do have a choice.
Talking Back to Your Inner Critic
An essential step in greater self love is awareness. As you become aware of how these random thoughts are unloving & hurtful you will naturally want to talk back to them. You will make mistakes, the negative thoughts will come. Although you cannot control the thousands of random thoughts that pop up, you can begin to pay attention to them once they surface.. Once you hear them you have a choice. You can believe them and beat yourself up more or you can question these thoughts, lovingly. I generally have a phrase I learned while taking a workshop by Robert Stevens on Conscious Language. I say, "CANCEL/CLEAR, this is not for my highest good or the good of others" I then reframe the thought and get on with my day. (Some days I'm saying "Cancel/Clear" a majority of the time) Find a phrase that works for you talk back to your "inner critic."
Listen to Your Still, Small Voice When Doubt Creeps In
Last fall, as I was getting ready for a networking meeting, my "inner critic" really kicked in ,"You can't run a successful business, who are you kidding?" Why do you even bother going to these meetings? I did not say "Cancel/Clear"; I just stood there looking in the mirror wondering who was talking. I felt overwhelmed with self doubt. I'd had doubts in my abilities in the past, yet was always able to shift my perspective, usually on my own. Then I heard a gentler voice say, “You need to slow down." Luckily, I listened and skipped the meeting that morning. I spent needed time journaling, talking to my husband and a trusted friend and then quieted down more with a short meditation. I had in fact been pushing myself very hard and my voice of love was saying STOP. Once I was more rested I knew that I was capable of running a successful business and was able to finish out my day knowing this.
As you challenge your negative self-talk and practice being kinder to yourself and reframing things you may begin to see glimmers of your authentic self-No you are not perfect, yet beating yourself up is not the way to make lasting change. As Marianne Williamson says in her beautiful quote…”We are meant to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us it is in all of us. As we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” May you love yourself more each day!