"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt
Rejection comes in many forms. We all have faced people telling us no at some
point in our lives; first as children, then young adults and most certainly as
business owners when we solicit potential clients/customers. In fact, if you are
going to be successful and become a master of your life you must face and deal
with rejection or you will not last very long at anything you are doing.
So, how do you keep your faith when a colleague unsubscribes from your
mailings? What can you do when three people who said they would sign-up for your
workshop change their minds?
What is the Problem Here?
The problem becomes the stories we tell ourselves about the things that
happen. Current research indicates that the average person has about 50,000
random thoughts running through their mind everyday and around 80% of those
thoughts are negative self talk. It's no wonder that we often walk around
feeling "off" when we start our day this way. Even seemingly insignificant
thoughts such as, "My hair looks horrible, or I am going to be late", often set
the stage for the entire day.
Rejection is Really a Mindset/Story You Tell Yourself
In the situations above, what really happened? Someone decided to stop getting
your mailings and three people changed their minds about your workshop. Period.
We often personalize things that are not about us at all. Our random thoughts
can be vicious and we decide and make up a story about what is wrong with us,
often without having any facts or getting more information. We tell ourselves we
can't write and that our workshops must "suck". We feel worse and we can spiral
downwards from there.
Re-write the Story to Empower Yourself
Sometimes, we do need to face what isn't working, especially if it's been
consistently not working for a long period of time; however often this is not
the situation. (This topic is covered in a future newsletter) Most often,
whatever has happened has little to do with what you offer or write yet you've
personalized it with a less than empowering story.
Maybe your colleague receives way too much email, as everyone does and she
decided to unsubscribe from other mailings as well. Admit it; you've done the
same thing at some point. I once had 300 plus emails that had piled up as my
computer was in the shop due to a virus. I got it back, looked at all those
emails, went into overwhelm and just deleted everything. Perhaps the colleague
was not benefiting from what she received as it didn't pertain to her anymore.
However, she knew of others who could benefit and passed on your mailings. One
shoe does not fit all.
Maybe the three people had other things come up and plan to attend your
workshop the next time around. If you have an opportunity to talk with these
people perhaps you'll get more insight.
Even if you never know the "why" of these situations, you can empower yourself
by making up a different story. Jack Canfield, in The Success Principles, talks
about the SWSWSWSW motto when asking anyone for anything. Some will, some
won't, so what, someone's waiting. Do not waste your time and energy making up
a story that does not empowers you. The right people and circumstances are out
there for you.
Persistence & Rejection
If you are a business owner/entrepreneur, get ready to be challenged and enjoy
the ride! There are very few stories of success (if any) without the equivalent
stories of countless defeat/failures. There are things what will come up that
were unforeseeable, even with all the planning you may do. Do not give up on
your plans and dreams. Success may be right around the corner.
Napoleon Hill, in his classic best-seller, Think & Grow Rich, says, "The majority
of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes overboard and give up at
the first sign of opposition or misfortune. A few carry on despite all
opposition until they obtain their goals...without persistence you will be
defeated even before you start. With persistence you will win."
Here are just a few of the countless stories of people who didn't give up:
The Beatles had 9 rejections from major recording studios before they finally
got their big break; what if they quit after their 7^th or 8^th rejection?
Michael Jordan was cut from his sophomore varsity team as being too short in
stature and in talent. He was told he simply wasn't going to be able to play
basketball competitively. What if he had given up?
Steven Spielberg was rejected from The School of Theater 3 times and worked an
intern at Universal Studios 7 days a week while attending college at Long Beach
He made a short 24 minute film and became the youngest director ever signed
with a major studio. He dropped out of college and began his long and
distinguished career.
Wilma Rudolph was born prematurely into a poor black family (22 children) and
was ill most of her young childhood. She also contracting polio and was told
she would never walk again. Her family did not give up on her and she worked
for two years to walk. At the age of 12 she was able to walk without crutches;
it was then she decided to become an athlete. She was a basketball star in high
school and then became a track star going to the Olympics at the age of 16. She
was the first women athlete to win 3 gold medals in the Olympics in 1960.
Now you might be thinking, I'm not going to be famous or make that kind of a
difference in the world. Remember, you never know the impact you can have on
others, even one other person, and I'm sure you have impacted at least one other
person just by being yourself. Do not discount yourself. Persistence really
pays off when you are doing what you truly desire.
You will face rejection and challenges in business & life so you might as well
tell yourself a good story in the process. Enjoy the storytelling!